Penis and Testicle Stir Fry

OMG, Really? I’m so freaked out I don’t even know what to say! Lets start with this excerpt from the New York Daily News:

Mao Sugiyama had his penis and testicles removed by a surgeon in March and kept them in his freezer for two months before cooking them at an exclusive Tokyo gathering. Diners said the meal was rubbery and tasteless.

I’m all queasy and scared, and scarred, inside. Just how fucked up do you have to be to have someone cut off your junk, then take your junk and feed it to people who actually paid for the chance to eat human organs? I mean, sure I saw Silence of the Lambs, and that freaked me out too, but that was just a movie, this is real life…

You know, I always thought I was just as tough as the next guy, but I can’t even write this story and make fun of it, I’m just too freaked out. I’ll leave you with this final quote, since I really need to go throw up, and then curl up in a corner somewhere and whimper while holding my junk.

Photos from the event showed Sugiyama in a white frock and chef’s hat, standing over a portable gas burner and slicing up the organs in front of a roomful of curious diners.

Vomitus Maximus (AKA: Whimpering Junk Holder)

Fast And Moronious In Canada

I’m pretty sure Moronious is my own word, but most people should be able to figure out I was going for a “Fast and Furious” type title… and even if moronious isn’t a word, it should be. I mean there’s felons, and they’re felonious, so why can’t morons be moronious. OK, maybe I’m trying a little too hard here. LOL

The story in question pertains to one Randy George Scott of Victoria, who, according the an article on CNN.com, posted a video of himself going 186mph on his motorcycle. He then posted the video on Youtube, and now the cops are looking for him. While I’m all for going as fast as you can without killing other people, I’m not for giving the cops a copy of the evidence.

Now the the Saanich Police Department, on Vancouver Island want to have a talk with the young man in question… I wonder why?

Here’s the Youtube video for those who want to live vicariously through Randy:

And The McMoron Award Goes To…

And the McMoron award goes to….. Melodi Dushane of Toledo, Ohio. Ms. Dushane must have really wanted her Nuggets, cause when she found out that McDonalds doesn’t service chicken McNuggets for breakfast, she punched the cashier at the drive through window and then proceeded to beat up the window too. (I don’t know about you, but there ain’t no way I could beat up a window before breakfast…)

Seriously, since this all took place on Friday, January 1, 2010, I’m assuming Ms. Dushane was still drunk, high, or both from her new years partying. She couldn’t have been sober, since sober people know that Micky D’s doesn’t serve Nuggets till 10:30. (MMMMMMMM Nuggets with hot mustard sauce!)

Now Ms. Dushane has to go to court and explain to the judge that she’s sorry, but that McNuggets are “Just the best remedy for a McHangover.”

Originally posted in the Toledo Blade

MMMMMMMMM Nuggets…….

Creepy Politician: John Brennan

Does it creep anyone else out, that John Brennan, Obama’s go-to-guy for national security at “HOMELAND SECURITY”, would make a statement reminiscent of something the Russian communists would have said during the second world war?

During the review, of the review, of the review of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab’s terrorist attack, Brennan said he was surprised that

they (Al Qaeda) had moved forward to try to execute this attack against the homeland.

Why didn’t he just say “MOTHERLAND”, or “MOTHER RUSSIA”? Was this a mistake, or are they, (Obama and Brennan), starting to feel good enough about their positions of power, that they can now start using the terms they grew up with at the KGB English language training camp?

Seriously folks, who calls the United States, “The Homeland”?

Mayor of Kurgan, Siberia Helltown, Ohio

California Bicycle Laws…

Here’s a law that you would think wouldn’t have to be made. Seriously, who the hell’s going to ride a bike without a seat? Doesn’t the California State Legislature have better crap to do? Last time I checked, people riding bikes without seats was the least of their worries.

21204. (a) A person operating a bicycle upon a highway shall not ride other than upon or astride a permanent and regular seat attached thereto, unless the bicycle was designed by the manufacturer to be ridden without a seat.

I have so much to say, but all of it is in the XXX category, and I want to try to stay at least PG-13…

Idiot Town’s New Redneck Award

Wow, you’d think that the first Idiot Redneck award would go to some guy in Tennessee with one tooth and a first cousin type wife with crossed eyes and 14 kids, but guess what, you’d be wrong. Sure this weeks winner is from Tennessee, but it’s a her, not a him.

Erica Hopper of Speedwell, Tennessee was arrested for drunk driving after she wrecked her car on the way to the hospital. Why was she so all-fired-up to get to the hospital? Because she was trying to get her husband, who was suffering from a gunshot, there to save his life. Of course, since she was the one who shot him, the police aren’t giving her any breaks on the DUI…

I don’t suppose that losing her license for 6 months for the DUI will matter much, when you figure she’ll probably get more time than that for shooting her husband. I was going to give her the Idiot Town Drunk Award, but the Redneckness of the whole thing won out. Read More

Mayor No-Neck (Just Call Me Guido.)

Washington DC: Idiot Town’s New City Council

The city counsel in Washington DC is today’s honorary Idiot Town city council. According to their new “Disposable-Plastic-and-Paper-Bag” law, residents of Washington DC, as of January 1, will have to pay 5 cents for every disposable paper or plastic bag that they use while shopping.

According to a report in USAToday, by Wendy Koch,

Most of the money raised from the new law, which passed the D.C. Council unanimously in June and took effect New Year’s Day, will go toward cleaning up the city’s Anacostia River. City research has found plastic bags are a major source of the river’s trash.

If you live in DC, make sure you dump all your plastic and paper bags in the Anacostia River when you’re done with them. You might as well, you already paid to have them picked up…

I Hate Sears!

Do you know why I hate Sears? Because they pissed me off, that’s why… Duh!

And here’s how they pissed me off:

About a year ago, I signed up for a Sears credit card. I’d never had one before and thought it would be kind of nice to have, just in case I needed some work done on the car, or needed an appliance repaired or something. The family even has pictures taken there from time to time, and I figured the card would work for that too.

Well, I never used the card. I got it, and then just stuck it in my desk drawer. And then I sort of just forgot about it; mainly because nothing broke or needed to be replaced. Sure I knew I had one, and it crossed my mind from time to time that I was one of those select few with a shiny Sear’s card in the drawer, but I never used it. I even got emails from Sears now and again reminding me that I could use the card to buy cool Christmas gifts, or summer vacation clothes etc…

Well, a few weeks ago, I got a letter in the mail telling me, and I quote: “IN AN ONGOING ATTEMPT TO SERVE YOU BETTER IN THESE TOUGH ECONOMIC TIMES, WE HAVE DECIDED TO CANCEL YOUR SEARS ACCOUNT…. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.”

My first thought was “HOLY CRAP BATMAN, HOW BAD DOES YOUR CREDIT HAVE TO BE FOR SEARS TO CANCEL A CARD YOU’VE NEVER USED”? I then went online and wandered around the net and found out that all the credit card companies are doing that to their customers. I even had a friend, with kick ass credit, tell me that Bank of America had cut his credit line in half, even though the card was paid off in full each month, so he’d canceled the card.

So, what’s happening in the United States is that the credit card companies are getting available credit off their books, but they are doing it the wrong way, and screwing consumers in the process. Here’s an example of how this is messing up consumer’s credit scores:

Part of a person’s credit score is based on how much of their available credit they are using. So lets say I have credit cards that have a total available credit line of $25,000. Now, if I’m using $5,000 worth of that credit line, then my score is going to be higher, because I’m only using 20% of my available credit. BUT, if all of my credit card companies cut my credit in half, then my credit score is going take a small hit, because now I’m using 40% of my available credit. And, it happened all at once, so I must be in trouble.

Now, what happens when companies like Sears totally cancel the card. All of a sudden, the consumer might have only $10,000 of available credit, which is going to kick his credit score in the A**. Not only are you now one of those people who are using too much credit based on how much is available, you’ve had cards canceled, your credit score has dropped, and the companies that are still carrying you on their books are going to see that in a few months, and cut the rest of your credit, so they don’t get caught holding all of your debt.

In other words, your credit is going to go straight to hell, and all of your cards will be reduced to the amount you owe on them… leaving you using 100% of your available credit, which will cause your score to spiral farther down. That right there is just one of the reasons I hate Sears.

The other reason I hate Sears, which seems kind of petty, now that I’ve outlined the future credit apocalypse above, is because even though they canceled my Sears credit card, they kept me on their email list and are now spamming the hell out of me, trying to get me to buy the kids new clothes and gear for school. Well Sears… I would, but you canceled my F***ing card, so I can’t…

Bitches!

No Law Against Being a Dumb Ass

I was wandering through the trash that litters my RSS news reader’s in-box this morning, and found a little nugget abut a guy from NH who has bad judgment, but still has the legal right to have children. Seriously folks, when are they going to start making people take a class or pass a test or something, before they let them have kids?

It seems that back in March, a guy by the name of Christopher Lunny of Strafford, NH, decided he wanted to go to the movies. “Well”, you ask, “what’s the big deal about that, lots of people go to the movies every day, right?” Sure lots of people go to the movies every day, and it’s a good thing, since it sort of helps the economy. ($5.00 popcorn’s got to be helping someone make money…)

Well, it looks like Mr. Lunny was watching his child that day and decide to leave it in the car while he went to the movies. You’re probably going, “so what, most teenage kids would rather stay in the car, or wander around the mall instead of going to the movies with dad”, and you’d be mostly right. Except for one thing, his kid is just three years old!

Who leaves a 3 year old buckled in the car while they go to the movies? When my kids were three, I had to beat them every time we got in the car, because they would try to take their seat belts off and run around the inside of the car like cats on crack. We’re probably all lucky it was his spawn, so that it didn’t have the mental capacity to unlock it’s seat belt, open the door, and wander into the nearest river or onto the nearest highway.

Here is the article, in Foster.com, if you’re interested in reading it. On a side note, it looks like Mr. Lunny was arrested in July of 2008, for “driving after suspension/revocation of his license”. That was reported in the Hampton Police Logs for July 29, 2008.

Mayor Rabbit, Rabbit, White Rabbit!” Woo Hoo, I just stole your luck sucker! (Am I the only one that thinks I need more medication? “Not that I’m taking anything now. No, really I’m not, I’m perfectly sane”)

Students Protest Concealed Handguns on Campus

What a bunch of Effing idiots. What part of of “protect yourself from crazies”, don’t these dumb ass students understand? If I’m a student, and someone comes into the classroom and starts shooting other students, I want to be able to pull out my Browning Hipower and shoot the crazy bastard in the head. Hell, even if I miss, it’s not like I he wasn’t going to shoot me anyway, and now maybe he’ll keep his head down long enough for a few of my fellow students to get away.

200 dumb assed students from the University of Texas went to Austin, Texas last Thursday to protest against a bill that would allow concealed carry at public Universities in Texas. The dumbasse’s line of reasoning is that having guns on campus would restrict the free flow of ideas because people would be afraid to argue, and would increase the chance that minor squables would turn into shootings.

I haven’t checked out Universities in Texas, but I’m pretty sure that baseball bats are legal, but there’s probably no more than 2 or 3 baseball bat beatings a year… So what’s the big deal if a guy settles an argument with a gun? In Texas they have the chair, so it’ll turn out even in the end anyway.

The bottom line is that giving the people the chance to carry concealed will give the bad guys a really good reason to go somewhere else for their shooting sprees. When was the last time a gunman went into a police department in the United States and gunned down 13 people? What? Pretty much never? Do you know why? Because they all have guns you f*cking morons.

Here are a couple of story links dallasnews.com and the columbiamissourian.com.

Mayor out to 1500 meters with my .338 Lapua