Idiot Town

The Perez Hilton website busted the story that Vanilla Ice was hitting his wife again. WTF, you married Vanilla Ice, of course someone is going to kick the crap out of you. If not Vanilla, then someone who see’s you and knows who you married!

Seriously, how stoned or desperate do you have to be to marry that kind of “Has-Been”? (I actually really want to know the answer to that question, since I want to know how to recognize that type of money grubbing hookeresque wife. LOL) (I’m sooooo, going to get me one!)

So, we are going to go ahead and post this little story under “I Married An Idiot”, just in case she wants to come forward and tell us the story. Sure it’s hard to admit you married a dork, but go ahead, it’ll make you feel a whole lot better. LOL

The Mayor of your Virginity, something you lost so long ago it’s ancient history!

I made my wife take the alcohol test, and she passed too. As a matter of fact, we sat around and drank 4 bottles of wine before she even took the test. I was afraid that she studied too hard and would actually pass out before the test, but she persevered and nailed it. LOL

While I’m an Alky, and scored a 97%, my wife, the drunk that she is, scored a 100% and won the Alky of the year award. Nothing like letting the world champ of boozers watch your kids. I asked her the other day what the kids were doing, and she said they were out in the garage crushing Ice and making martinis. At 4 and 7 years old, what tools were they using to crush the ice, and who was holding the ice and who was hitting it with the BFH? The whole thing made me nervous as hell until I tried her Martini; damn those kids know what they’re doing!