Idiot Town

OMG I love it when the inbred locals start acting up in Tennessee, Again! You know the type, they’ve got a single wide trailer with an old worn out couch on the falling down front porch, and there are 3 coon dogs and what’s left of last years garbage piled on it. And, if you fly over it, you can see the target painted on the roof “so’s the Tornado Gods have some’thin to aim fer”.

Here’s a little lesson in economics before we get to the good stuff.
It’s cheaper to have a big screen television set delivered to your home, than it is to have to pay $2,000.00 to the judge for bail money for yourself and your wife, sister, grandma, cousin, daughter or whatever she is.

Oh wait, here’s another little gem you should keep in mind. Transporting minors in the trunk of your car can lead to arrest and conviction for child neglect, endangering a child and for being stupid. (OK, you caught me, they can’t really arrest you for being stupid, but they should be able to…. as long as I’m the one who gets to make the call, and not some half-wit cop with a high school diploma and a full blown case of “Little Man Syndrome”.)

But, I digress. Let’s get back to the good stuff:

According to the WBIR.com website, this is what happened, and I quote…

“A man and woman were arrested in Cumberland County Monday after putting a teenager in a car trunk to make room in the car for a television.”

Whooooooo Hoooooo, you know you be an inbred piece of sh*t if you make a human being ride in the trunk of your car so’s you can get yo TV home to the kinfolk. Yippity bee, you all’s kinfolk is angry now, not gettin to watch Mayor Jerry Springer or throw sponge bricks at that nasty “Offra” woman who’s so uppity.

Fricken White Trash Losers!

The Mayor of a Northern Town, way, far away from Tennessee!
ps. the comments on this story are funnier than the damn story. Read them HERE!

The Perez Hilton website busted the story that Vanilla Ice was hitting his wife again. WTF, you married Vanilla Ice, of course someone is going to kick the crap out of you. If not Vanilla, then someone who see’s you and knows who you married!

Seriously, how stoned or desperate do you have to be to marry that kind of “Has-Been”? (I actually really want to know the answer to that question, since I want to know how to recognize that type of money grubbing hookeresque wife. LOL) (I’m sooooo, going to get me one!)

So, we are going to go ahead and post this little story under “I Married An Idiot”, just in case she wants to come forward and tell us the story. Sure it’s hard to admit you married a dork, but go ahead, it’ll make you feel a whole lot better. LOL

The Mayor of your Virginity, something you lost so long ago it’s ancient history!

I learned at a young age, like 4 or 5, to lie to the police or any other adults who asked me a question, when I knew a truthful answer would get me in trouble. Here are some examples:

My Mom asked me, “Did you break the cookie jar?”
My answer was of course “NO”. Who the hell would cop to something they did if no one saw them do it, especially since I had a brother and a sister who could share the blame? The folks couldn’t beat all three of use, right? (I actually found out later that that assumption was “wrong”, they could beat all three of you if no one copped to the crime.)

“Do you know how fast you were going?”
“How long where you following me officer?”
“8 miles.”
“Uhhhhh, 8 miles? Uhhh, no, I have no idea how fast I was going.”
Of course, he still gave me the ticket, but I sure as shit wasn’t going to tell him that, “Yea, I knew I was going 105 mph sucka, I had it on cruise control.” (True Story! That one actually happened to me in California when I was a kid, the officer leaned in the window, tapped me on the chest and said, “You were going 65 in a 55 son, and don’t you ever let me catch you going that fast again!” It cost me $35, and I’m still grateful to that cop.)

You never tell anyone you did anything. That way they have to prove you did it. That said, did you see today where Senator Stabenow’s husband, Tom Athans, co-founder of the liberal TalkUSA Radio network, admitted to cops who had just pulled him over, that “yes, he had just had sexual relations with a prostitute”. They didn’t even have to beat him with rubber hoses or anything, he just admitted it and then they let him drive away. Taking responsibility for your actions is OK, but why tell people what your actions were if they don’t know for sure?

I’m sure his wife’s real proud about now… Can you say Dumbass?