OK, here my first Idiot Town News report. It’s a little sketchy, but I’m sure they will improve with time.
Archive for the ‘Village Idiot’ Category
Bare Assed Wal-Mart Scooter Stealer…
Friday, January 8th, 2010No Law Against Being a Dumb Ass
Friday, May 1st, 2009I was wandering through the trash that litters my RSS news reader’s in-box this morning, and found a little nugget abut a guy from NH who has bad judgment, but still has the legal right to have children. Seriously folks, when are they going to start making people take a class or pass a test or something, before they let them have kids?
It seems that back in March, a guy by the name of Christopher Lunny of Strafford, NH, decided he wanted to go to the movies. “Well”, you ask, “what’s the big deal about that, lots of people go to the movies every day, right?” Sure lots of people go to the movies every day, and it’s a good thing, since it sort of helps the economy. ($5.00 popcorn’s got to be helping someone make money…)
Well, it looks like Mr. Lunny was watching his child that day and decide to leave it in the car while he went to the movies. You’re probably going, “so what, most teenage kids would rather stay in the car, or wander around the mall instead of going to the movies with dad”, and you’d be mostly right. Except for one thing, his kid is just three years old!
Who leaves a 3 year old buckled in the car while they go to the movies? When my kids were three, I had to beat them every time we got in the car, because they would try to take their seat belts off and run around the inside of the car like cats on crack. We’re probably all lucky it was his spawn, so that it didn’t have the mental capacity to unlock it’s seat belt, open the door, and wander into the nearest river or onto the nearest highway.
Here is the article, in Foster.com, if you’re interested in reading it. On a side note, it looks like Mr. Lunny was arrested in July of 2008, for “driving after suspension/revocation of his license”. That was reported in the Hampton Police Logs for July 29, 2008.
Mayor Rabbit, Rabbit, White Rabbit!” Woo Hoo, I just stole your luck sucker! (Am I the only one that thinks I need more medication? “Not that I’m taking anything now. No, really I’m not, I’m perfectly sane”)
Knoxville Tennessee Village Idiots
Tuesday, April 15th, 2008OMG I love it when the inbred locals start acting up in Tennessee, Again! You know the type, they’ve got a single wide trailer with an old worn out couch on the falling down front porch, and there are 3 coon dogs and what’s left of last years garbage piled on it. And, if you fly over it, you can see the target painted on the roof “so’s the Tornado Gods have some’thin to aim fer”.
Here’s a little lesson in economics before we get to the good stuff.
It’s cheaper to have a big screen television set delivered to your home, than it is to have to pay $2,000.00 to the judge for bail money for yourself and your wife, sister, grandma, cousin, daughter or whatever she is.
Oh wait, here’s another little gem you should keep in mind. Transporting minors in the trunk of your car can lead to arrest and conviction for child neglect, endangering a child and for being stupid. (OK, you caught me, they can’t really arrest you for being stupid, but they should be able to…. as long as I’m the one who gets to make the call, and not some half-wit cop with a high school diploma and a full blown case of “Little Man Syndrome”.)
But, I digress. Let’s get back to the good stuff:
According to the WBIR.com website, this is what happened, and I quote…
“A man and woman were arrested in Cumberland County Monday after putting a teenager in a car trunk to make room in the car for a television.”
Whooooooo Hoooooo, you know you be an inbred piece of sh*t if you make a human being ride in the trunk of your car so’s you can get yo TV home to the kinfolk. Yippity bee, you all’s kinfolk is angry now, not gettin to watch Mayor Jerry Springer or throw sponge bricks at that nasty “Offra” woman who’s so uppity.
Fricken White Trash Losers!
The Mayor of a Northern Town, way, far away from Tennessee!
ps. the comments on this story are funnier than the damn story. Read them HERE!
Village Idiot/Town Drunk: Kathleen Turner
Friday, April 4th, 2008Of course, if I was going to nominate a Town Drunk & Village Idiot Combo Pack for today, it would have to be Kathleen Turner.
FoxNews ran a story that Kathleen Turner lost in court today to Nicolas Cage. Cage Was suing Turner over allegations in her book, Send Yourself Flowers, that he stole a dog and was arrested for drunk driving a couple of times. Or, was it for ridding in a stolen car with a drunk dog? Either way, Turner lost and now has to pay an undisclosed amount of money to the charity of Cage’s choice.
What I don’t understand is why she didn’t make up a good story, like the fact that she caught him in her trailer after a shoot one time wearing her clothes, dancing with a stolen dog and drinking Tequila with a couple of male strippers. Or she could of told about the time Nicolas Cage killed her drunk dog and then stole a couple of her DUI tickets out of her glove box.
The deal is, if you’re going to tell lies, make them good, with just a hint of crazy so that the judge knows you were kidding.
See what drinking and writing will get you? Lack of creativity!
The Mayor of Stupidville IdiotTown