Idiot Town

OMG I love it when the inbred locals start acting up in Tennessee, Again! You know the type, they’ve got a single wide trailer with an old worn out couch on the falling down front porch, and there are 3 coon dogs and what’s left of last years garbage piled on it. And, if you fly over it, you can see the target painted on the roof “so’s the Tornado Gods have some’thin to aim fer”.

Here’s a little lesson in economics before we get to the good stuff.
It’s cheaper to have a big screen television set delivered to your home, than it is to have to pay $2,000.00 to the judge for bail money for yourself and your wife, sister, grandma, cousin, daughter or whatever she is.

Oh wait, here’s another little gem you should keep in mind. Transporting minors in the trunk of your car can lead to arrest and conviction for child neglect, endangering a child and for being stupid. (OK, you caught me, they can’t really arrest you for being stupid, but they should be able to…. as long as I’m the one who gets to make the call, and not some half-wit cop with a high school diploma and a full blown case of “Little Man Syndrome”.)

But, I digress. Let’s get back to the good stuff:

According to the WBIR.com website, this is what happened, and I quote…

“A man and woman were arrested in Cumberland County Monday after putting a teenager in a car trunk to make room in the car for a television.”

Whooooooo Hoooooo, you know you be an inbred piece of sh*t if you make a human being ride in the trunk of your car so’s you can get yo TV home to the kinfolk. Yippity bee, you all’s kinfolk is angry now, not gettin to watch Mayor Jerry Springer or throw sponge bricks at that nasty “Offra” woman who’s so uppity.

Fricken White Trash Losers!

The Mayor of a Northern Town, way, far away from Tennessee!
ps. the comments on this story are funnier than the damn story. Read them HERE!

Of course, if I was going to nominate a Town Drunk & Village Idiot Combo Pack for today, it would have to be Kathleen Turner.

FoxNews ran a story that Kathleen Turner lost in court today to Nicolas Cage. Cage Was suing Turner over allegations in her book, Send Yourself Flowers, that he stole a dog and was arrested for drunk driving a couple of times. Or, was it for ridding in a stolen car with a drunk dog? Either way, Turner lost and now has to pay an undisclosed amount of money to the charity of Cage’s choice.

What I don’t understand is why she didn’t make up a good story, like the fact that she caught him in her trailer after a shoot one time wearing her clothes, dancing with a stolen dog and drinking Tequila with a couple of male strippers. Or she could of told about the time Nicolas Cage killed her drunk dog and then stole a couple of her DUI tickets out of her glove box.

The deal is, if you’re going to tell lies, make them good, with just a hint of crazy so that the judge knows you were kidding.

See what drinking and writing will get you? Lack of creativity!

The Mayor of Stupidville IdiotTown