Hey, what do you get when you gets pissed (Drunk for you Yanks…) and piss in front of a police station in Melbourne, Australia?
8 hours of community service and a reputation as being unable to hold your booze of course…
So, all together now:
“I’m a 7, your an 8,
unzip your pants before it’s too late!”
The Mayor of Golden Showerville “nwottoidI”
(IdiotTown spelled bass ackwards in salute to our friends down under!)
I made my wife take the alcohol test, and she passed too. As a matter of fact, we sat around and drank 4 bottles of wine before she even took the test. I was afraid that she studied too hard and would actually pass out before the test, but she persevered and nailed it. LOL
While I’m an Alky, and scored a 97%, my wife, the drunk that she is, scored a 100% and won the Alky of the year award. Nothing like letting the world champ of boozers watch your kids. I asked her the other day what the kids were doing, and she said they were out in the garage crushing Ice and making martinis. At 4 and 7 years old, what tools were they using to crush the ice, and who was holding the ice and who was hitting it with the BFH? The whole thing made me nervous as hell until I tried her Martini; damn those kids know what they’re doing!
Of course, if I was going to nominate a Town Drunk & Village Idiot Combo Pack for today, it would have to be Kathleen Turner.
FoxNews ran a story that Kathleen Turner lost in court today to Nicolas Cage. Cage Was suing Turner over allegations in her book, Send Yourself Flowers, that he stole a dog and was arrested for drunk driving a couple of times. Or, was it for ridding in a stolen car with a drunk dog? Either way, Turner lost and now has to pay an undisclosed amount of money to the charity of Cage’s choice.
What I don’t understand is why she didn’t make up a good story, like the fact that she caught him in her trailer after a shoot one time wearing her clothes, dancing with a stolen dog and drinking Tequila with a couple of male strippers. Or she could of told about the time Nicolas Cage killed her drunk dog and then stole a couple of her DUI tickets out of her glove box.
The deal is, if you’re going to tell lies, make them good, with just a hint of crazy so that the judge knows you were kidding.
See what drinking and writing will get you? Lack of creativity!
The Mayor of Stupidville IdiotTown
I took my drinking test today, and passed, thank God. I think I’m the new town drunk. I answered every question correctly, and only needed one clue. Here’s my score:
That’s Mr. Mayor to you; FOOL!
… Hic, Hic…. Rallllfff. Excuse me while I puke in the gutter. LOL