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Archive for the ‘Stupid Criminals’ Category

And The McMoron Award Goes To…

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

And the McMoron award goes to….. Melodi Dushane of Toledo, Ohio. Ms. Dushane must have really wanted her Nuggets, cause when she found out that McDonalds doesn’t service chicken McNuggets for breakfast, she punched the cashier at the drive through window and then proceeded to beat up the window too. (I don’t know about you, but there ain’t no way I could beat up a window before breakfast…)

Seriously, since this all took place on Friday, January 1, 2010, I’m assuming Ms. Dushane was still drunk, high, or both from her new years partying. She couldn’t have been sober, since sober people know that Micky D’s doesn’t serve Nuggets till 10:30. (MMMMMMMM Nuggets with hot mustard sauce!)

Now Ms. Dushane has to go to court and explain to the judge that she’s sorry, but that McNuggets are “Just the best remedy for a McHangover.”

Originally posted in the Toledo Blade

MMMMMMMMM Nuggets…….

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Posted in Stupid Criminals | No Comments »

California Bicycle Laws…

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

Here’s a law that you would think wouldn’t have to be made. Seriously, who the hell’s going to ride a bike without a seat? Doesn’t the California State Legislature have better crap to do? Last time I checked, people riding bikes without seats was the least of their worries.

21204. (a) A person operating a bicycle upon a highway shall not ride other than upon or astride a permanent and regular seat attached thereto, unless the bicycle was designed by the manufacturer to be ridden without a seat.

I have so much to say, but all of it is in the XXX category, and I want to try to stay at least PG-13…

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Posted in I-D-10-Tango, Stupid Criminals | No Comments »

New Prison Bitch

Friday, April 25th, 2008

Mr. Wesley Snipes spent the afternoon trying on ass-virginity belts after a federal judge handed down a three year prison sentence for tax evasion. After finding a belt that fits him now, and picking up a spare in a larger size for those times of the month when he’s feeling bloated, Mr. Snipes then went to his doctor to have his mangina tuned up to “make sure it was in shape for the hard three years ahead of it”.

We’ll miss you Mr. Snipes, and hope Bubba in the next bunk misses you most of the time too.

While I hate to see anyone actually pay their taxes, I bet Mr. Snipes wishes he would have now. Read the story over at the Times.

Mayor of Tax Town Idiot Town

Posted in Stupid Criminals | 1 Comment »

It Just Went Off… No, Really!

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

The Calgary Sun is running a story this morning about a guy who shot a bar owner while being escorted from the property for the third time in one night. The shooter is trying to convince the Judge that he didn’t mean to do it, and that the gun just went off accidentally while he was pointing it at the owner who was tossing him for the third time that night.

While shooting someone is pretty stupid, especially when you use a stolen gun to do it with. Just how stupid does this guy think the Judge and Jury are? He was kicked out of the bar twice, then left and came back to pick up his buddy. When the bar owner told him to get again, and was escorting him to the door, he pulled the sawed off rifle and it accidentally went off into the owners chest. End of story…

Who out there doesn’t believe that Adrian Walle, the shooter, who got kicked out of the bar twice already, didn’t go home, get the rifle, load it and then go back to the bar with the intentions of shooting the owner? No, really, who the hell does he think he’s kidding? Anyone have any comments on this?

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Posted in Stupid Criminals | 2 Comments »